This piece is something I wrote to get into Kelly and Tyler's heads for my upcoming novel. Both of them are main characters from Down by the Willow Tree, a novel about a couple's struggle with life, love, and disease.
It will be the first weekend Tyler's home and I have no idea what I'm going to do. I'm wondering if I should just avoid him all together. It won't be too hard since I am going out with Kayla on Friday to the movies, Saturday, I had planned to spend some time with the Lit Mag crowd at the community center at college, and Sunday should be easy because he has to get back to school anyway.
I hate the fact that he has been avoiding me since he left. And I hate the fact that I'm avoiding him, but it's for the best, right? I mean, it's not like we are going to get married any time soon. I don't even know if that's in the cards for us anyway. And just as mom has always said, if you two are meant to be together, you will be. I'm not exactly sure if that's the case with the two of us or not, but I know that it's best if I give him some space right now. He needs to decide what he wants and I can't make that decision for him.
I already know that I want him in my life, but I'm really not sure for how long. I like being with him, I enjoy his company. I know I love him. But a big commitment is just too much right now. And if that's what he wants, well, then, maybe it really is best if we just cool it.
Maybe I should fill up my Sunday schedule too-- just in case. In fact-- maybe I should make sure my next few weekends are filled up so I'm too busy to even think about him. I know if I have time to stew I'll do something stupid like call him and that's just going to screw things up between the two of us.
Tyler's Thoughts on the First Week of College
College is supposed be some of the best years of your life, at least, that's what my Mom has lead me to believe. High school was great, I had the status as a bball player, a descent GPA, and the awesome girlfriend. I had it all.
Freshman year in college is tough, I know, and there's an adjustment period to living away from home, but I feel so empty without Kelly here. I miss her terribly and so desperately want to call her, but that would make things worse.
I have to be strong about this, at least for the first week. If I call her now, so soon after our breakup, I'll look desperate. She might not even want to talk to me anyway. I know she was okay with us breaking up and that's what makes this feel even worse.
How could she be okay with this? I know I said that we'd still be friends and we could still hang out, but being just friends isn't really what I want. I'm falling apart inside without her. I wish this Friday would come quickly so I can go home and see her. I need to see her and have her in my arms once more. Maybe I shouldn't see her. Maybe that will be too soon.
Freshman year in college is tough, I know, and there's an adjustment period to living away from home, but I feel so empty without Kelly here. I miss her terribly and so desperately want to call her, but that would make things worse.
I have to be strong about this, at least for the first week. If I call her now, so soon after our breakup, I'll look desperate. She might not even want to talk to me anyway. I know she was okay with us breaking up and that's what makes this feel even worse.
How could she be okay with this? I know I said that we'd still be friends and we could still hang out, but being just friends isn't really what I want. I'm falling apart inside without her. I wish this Friday would come quickly so I can go home and see her. I need to see her and have her in my arms once more. Maybe I shouldn't see her. Maybe that will be too soon.
Kelly's Take
Seeing Tyler for the first time was a bit scary for me because I figured he'd be like all the others at school, but he turned out to be different. We mostly played soccer together, but we also liked to talk about bugs-- hey-- we were both into science-- what can I say.
Things didn't start to get weird with us until I started looking at Tyler as a guy and not like the boy next door. Frankly, I didn't know what to say or do when things got weird. I liked Tyler and wanted to be his friend, but I started to realize that I LIKED him too, and that made things complicated. All I really wanted was for things to go back to the way they were. I didn't want to think about him in THAT way. I just wanted to play soccer.
Senior came and my whole world turned up side down because Tyler asked me out to the movies. It was one of those things where I didn't really know what his motives were until he tried to kiss me goodnight. I almost let out a laugh because it was strange to see him act that way with me, but I knew laughing might not be such a good thing and I refrained.
The romance between us started to pick up for a bit, until we both realized that it was the last summer we'd see each other ever again. I tried hard not to think about it, after all, a long distance relationship could work-- it had for other people. So why not us?
